


Flu Meds and Toe Beans

by BonnieLass23



Series: The Ginger Behemoth and The Gangly Doctor Creature [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cats, F/M, Illnesses, Tentoo gets the flu, he's a moron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22856902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BonnieLass23/pseuds/BonnieLass23
Summary: The doctor has the flu and a wild reaction to medication
Relationships: Metacrisis Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Series: The Ginger Behemoth and The Gangly Doctor Creature [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536038
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Flu Meds and Toe Beans

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to hanluvr (Bria) who beta'd this for me months ago right before life decided to get hella busy. Now that it's calmed down some I'm trying to finish some of my works in progress/almost completed fics.
> 
> I've got at least 2-3 more Doctor Puff stories in the pipe line.

Rose was kind, compassionate and driven, but beyond that she liked to think of herself as responsible. Rose Tyler, defender of the Earth needed to be responsible. Negotiating with aliens, and heading projects, such as the dimension cannon, required a responsible person. Being responsible even got her tasked with being the Doctor’s ‘assistant’, which she was compassionate enough not to tell him was actually code for ‘babysitter’. No point in harming his ego when he had enough issues coming to terms with being Mr. Meta-Crisis, as her mum had taken to calling him.

Responsible people did lots of things. They got their reports submitted in a timely manner, they followed safety precautions, they were on time to meetings, they took care of themselves, including their health. Rose Tyler, responsible person that she was, made sure to get her flu shot. UNIT was a stickler for the health of their staff and had even gone so far as to bring in flu shots to be administered by the on site doctors.

The Doctor on the other hand, for all his claims to the contrary, was not always a responsible person. For a Time Lord, even a meta-crisis, he lost track of time more times than she could count. He drove department heads mad by ignoring memos and barely completing reports at all, much less on time. He was terrible about picking up necessities from the store on the way home, getting distracted by tabloids instead. She was kind enough to let him believe she had no idea about his super secret stash hidden in a file folder labeled ‘ADVANCED CALCULUS’ on the top row of the bookshelf. Although he did always manage to pick up a variety of cheese for Doctor Puff. And don’t even get her started on the blatant disregard for safety protocol, because ‘where’s the fun in that Rose?’

Rose tried, she really did, but when she asked him if he wanted to accompany her to get their flu shots together he only scoffed. There was no way a lowly rhinovirus could possibly affect his superior biology, part human or not. She’d had a long week and didn’t feel like trying to argue the point, so she let him go back to his lab and spend quality time with the growing TARDIS while she did the responsible thing.

It was a couple weeks later that she started to realize something was off, but of course being him, he tried to explain it all away. The sniffling, ‘Haven’t dusted in awhile.’ The pressure behind his eyes, ‘Probably the TARDIS trying to telepathically reach out.’ The fatigue and body aches ‘Must’ve slept wrong.’ Elevated body temperature, ‘Wibbly-wobbly human/Time Lord, DNA/TNA blah blah meta-crisis blah.’ Because time lords don’t catch the flu.

Meta-crisis TimeLords can, in fact, catch the flu. Not only can they catch it, they’re rendered completely useless by it. Which is why Rose, who is a responsible person, had taken all of her paperwork home with her to finish, on time, while looking after her pathetically useless Time Lord meta-crisis.

Being responsible also meant going to Owen Harper and asking about which cold medications the Doctor could and could not take. Without having time to test thoroughly, and because he wasn’t actually dying, they had decided to stick with something Owen whipped up in the moment that didn’t contain anything deadly to humans or Time Lords. The dosage was a bit of a question, but it should at least help to mitigate some of his symptoms. They wound up doubling given how resistant he was to other medications.

“This’ll shut him up, and it won’t kill him. Can’t guarantee anything else.” Owen had told her while handing her the bottle. “Although if that arse comes into my lab one more bloody time to mess with my stuff I’ll give him something worse than the flu to complain about.” Rose thanked him and left, making a mental note to talk to the Doctor about boundaries. The last thing she needed was a blow up between those two she'd undoubtedly be the person who had to clean it up.

Rose had just finished a report when she heard something from the bedroom. It had been silent for about twenty minutes after the Doctor had finally broken down and taken the medication Owen had given her. She paused and turned her head in the direction of the open door, breath held as she listened closer. After a moment she heard what sounded like a whimper. Her stomach dropped with worry. What if they had been wrong? If the medication actually wasn’t actually safe for a Time Lord meta-crisis. Or if Owen had finally had enough of the Doctor’s antics and decided that poisoning him was the best course of action.

Rose tripped over herself as she ran towards where the Doctor was curled up in bed. She was immediately at his side, worry etched over her features as she took in his state, tears brimming in his eyes. “Doctor?” He sniffled and looked up at her. “Doctor, tell me what’s wrong. Are you-” She was cut off before she could ask any other questions.

“Rose. Oh Rose. I-I just can’t.”

She gently stroked his cheek before lying her hand against his forehead, wanting to check his fever. “Can’t what Doctor?”

At that he looked into her eyes, a serious expression on his face. “Toe beans Rose.”

“Toe beans?” She followed his movements as he reached out to press a finger against Doctor Puff’s front paw.

“They’re s-so pink, and little.” Rose’s eyes went wide, glancing between Doctor Puff and the Doctor. “Wittle pink toe beans.” She was incredibly proud of herself for not losing it at his use of the word ‘wittle’. Not little.  _ Wittle _ . With a ‘w’. His hand moved up to stroke under Doctor Puff’s chin, fresh tears starting to form in his eyes. “He-he’s s-so soft.” With that a small sob broke forward. “W-why can’t I be that s-soft?” Rose reached up to gently stroke his hair, which only prompted him to look back at her, his voice small. “You still love me don’t you?”

“Course I do, Doctor.” She assured him. Apparently whatever Owen had whipped up had the effect of getting her Time Lord metacrisis high off his ass, resulting in an overly emotional Doctor. Although he did sound a bit better, not as stuffy as he was, so at least it was working.

“Even if I don’t have wittle pink toe beans?” The sincerity in his voice was too much.

It took Rose a moment to compose herself before answering. Laughing hysterically probably wasn’t the best response to this situation. “I happen to think your toe beans are quite adorable.” She ruffled his hair for good measure. “And your hair’s just the perfect amount of soft.”

He nodded solemnly before bending down to speak softly to Doctor Puff. “S’alright, I still love your toe beans, even if Rose doesn’t.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like Doctor Puff’s toe beans.” She did have to admit they were pretty cute.

“But you said mine were adorable.” Confusion was evident in his voice.

“Can’t I like both?” The Doctor seemed to ponder her response, as though it was one of the great questions of the universe, before finally nodding. “Right, I’m gonna go get you some more tea.”

As it was Rose barely made it to the kitchen before dissolving into a fit of giggles. After a minute she put the kettle on and went back to check on the Doctor while waiting for the water to boil. The sight before her was too hilariously adorable for her to pass up. Pulling out her phone she quickly found her camera app to record the scene in front of her.

The Doctor had one of Doctor Puff’s front paws in each of his hands, gently moving them up and down while singing a nonsensical song.

Doctor Puff regarded his gangly Doctor creature. He had decided to keep his underling company while he convalaced. The fragile creature rendered useless by his pitiful immune system unable to fight off this infection. His Rose human had taken the necessary precautions to ensure that she would still be able to serve him adequately. His gangly Doctor creature had failed in his responsibilities. 

Now he was forced to sit vigil by his gangly Doctor creature. He couldn’t have him succumb to his illness. It would be such a waste of training and potential to lose his gangly Doctor creature now. There was no telling when his Rose human would eventually replace him, and how agreeable her next stray might be. No. He would not abandon his loyal underling. Foolish as it was he had formed some sort of affection to his gangly Doctor creature and his bumbling ways. 

-

It had been a long week. The Doctor had never experienced the flu before, and was glad to have the whole ordeal behind him, well the majority of it behind him. Apparently it took a bit longer to fully recover, his body having to finish clearing out all the residual mucus. How ridiculous was that. Completely inefficient to produce heaping amounts of mucus, and for what? Immune response? How was mucus helping to fight off viruses? Stupid part human body. Stupid viruses.

He was brought out of his musings by the sound of a giggle coming from Pete’s office. A distinctly Rose like giggle, followed by a chuckle that sounded so very much like Pete. And was that, his voice?

He didn’t bother knocking before bursting in, eyes focusing on Rose standing behind Pete’s desk, holding out her phone, both of their faces red from laughter.

‘Soft kitty. Warm kitty. Little ball of fur.”

“What?” They both looked up at him and almost immediately burst into laughter. Pete pounding his fist against the table, and Rose clutching her ribs with the hand that didn’t have her phone clutched in it.

‘Happy kitty. Sleepy kitty. Purr, purr, purr.’

He recognized that voice. Under the nazal, rough quality, he knew that voice. His voice.

“No…” He searched Rose’s face before focusing on the phone in her hand, the video repeating itself. “You didn’t.”

Pete had managed to compose himself somewhat. “Doctor, you-” He dissolved into laughter again.

“Rose.” He met her gaze, giving her his best Oncoming Storm. “Give me the phone.”

She only smiled her lovely tongue touched smile that at any other point could reduce him to a puddle. “Nuh-uh.”

“Rose.” He took a few steps forward, hand outstretched. “Phone.”

Rose only clutched the phone closer to herself, a manic gleam in her eye. He watched her swipe a few times on the screen as he approached. “Careful Doctor, I hit one button and this goes to Mum.”

The Doctor stared at her aghast. “You wouldn’t.” Jackie having video of whatever ridiculously embarrassing things he had done while under the influence of flu medication was not a good thing. In fact it was a very, very, very bad thing. Horrible thing. Absolutely, supremely horrendous really. The damage that could be wrought by Jackie ‘gossip is my middle name’ Tyler would be cataclysmic. 

“Oh I’m keeping this, in case you need a reminder about getting your flu shot next year Doctor.”

“But Rose.” The Doctor whined.

“Oh no Doctor.” Pete gave his daughter a conspiratorial grin. “I think we’re going to keep this. Been meaning to do an employee training video about getting flu shots. This video would be great to include as a warning. What do you think Rose?”

“I think that’s an excellent idea. Think it could really improve morale.”

“Not happening!” The Doctor lunged over the desk trying to snatch the phone out of Rose’s hands, sending her tumbling backwards laughing the whole way.

“Oh…” From her spot on the floor Rose stared at her phone screen. “Oh no.” She turned her gaze back to the Doctor who was halfway sprawled over the desk, one arm barely keeping him from toppling the rest of the way over. “Doctor I swear, I am so sorry, it was an accident-” Rose was cut off by the sound of Jackie cackling in the hallway. The look of horror on the Doctor’s face was enough to send Pete into uncontrollable laughter.

A text pinged on Rose’s phone, causing both her and the Doctor to look at it.

> [Owen Harper]: Tell that tosser he better not steal supplies from my lab again or I’ll do more than just get him high enough to sing to cats.

That was it. He had no choice now. Jackie had video of his antics while high off his ass on whatever Owen Harper had given Rose to give him. The Doctor was going to have to get back at him for putting him in this situation in the first place. It was time Owen Harper became acquainted with the Oncoming Storm.

**Author's Note:**

> Am I gearing up for an eventual Tentoo vs Pete’s World Owen Harper prank battle royale that will end up inconveniencing everyone in UNIT along with the world at large? It’s more likely than you think.


End file.
